She was nervous. She was always nervous about these things. She was talking a mile a minute as I drove, and couldn’t stop fidgeting. Deep down, she knew it would be fine, still she fussed and asked questions over and over again. What time? How many? How old?
Wait, what time?
We were driving to a hotel to meet with 5 other men. I understood her trepidation, but knew that she was excited as well. We had had threesomes with other men before, and she longed to have a group of men just use her completely. The idea of Me watching her, taking pictures, telling her what do, and knowing I’d be the last man to take her once they had all dressed and left. Had you asked Me years ago, I never would have agreed to such a thing. Before our first threesome, I had all the usual worries, and almost cancelled at the last second. To My surprise, watching her with another man aroused Me no end, and brought us closer together, made what we have stronger. As this strange man licked her cunt, and fucked her ass, she and I kissed; more tenderly than ever before, with an unspoken agreement that no man could ever come between us. I came to understand that she was a slut, but not in any typical, pejorative sense. Well read, with a masters degree and fluent in 3 languages, she was naturally intelligent. She simply loved men, loved being used, controlled, dominated and she happened to possess an enormous sexual appetite.
When we first met, I asked about her first sexual encounters. She sighed, unsure that I would fully understand. Quietly, I told her that if we were going to be together, I wanted to know all about her, with no secrets, and no shame. This is what she said, paraphrased:
’ I was not molested, or any of the usual things that people imagine. Pretty much my earliest memories are sexual ones, and my mother was constantly scolding me for touching myself. I became aroused easily, and frequently, but because of my age, that desire was not really focused- I just knew that it felt good. Then I found my father’s porn stash, and saw my first glimpse of interracial porn. I was obsessed with penis, white penis, and that was shameful, for a really long time. I couldn’t help it, though, and I tried picturing what these older white men around me looked like when naked. I fantasized about them all, each one of them at my church, in my neighborhood, my teachers- all of them. Then, when I was a teenager, I ‘let’ my dad’s poker buddy drive me home from a bus stop one day when it was raining. I knew the minute I got into his car what I would do, even as inexperienced as I was. And how completely ill advised it was, and sure, stupid. But I did it anyhow, and I never regretted it. It wasn’t him, he didn’t start it, I did. I reached for him, and I stroked him, and I unzipped him. I had dreamed of this for what seemed like forever, and once I took him in my mouth, it felt completely right, absolutely natural. He was freaked out, of course. I told him I would never tell, and that I wanted this even more than he did. And that’s the thing, because I did want it more, and maybe it was wrong of him and all that, but how many men can reject a young woman? Not many, I can tell you. Anyhow, I knew that the end result was that he would cum, and I had no idea what to expect, I only knew that I had to find out. He told me right before he did, and tried to pull away, but I wanted it, and this was the mystery I needed to solve. It was everything I had hoped for, and I loved how he grunted, the way he got so hard right before he came, how he called me a filthy bitch. That all turned me on, but it was the semen that made me nuts, I just loved it. I loved the taste, the silkiness, the way it just burst into my mouth. He had spurted a big load deep in my throat, and the sound of the rain on the car roof lulled me into a state of bliss and calm, that I felt I was right to have done this. Now, I know a lot of girls hate that, hate cum in their mouth, but I took to it like a duck to water- it just suits me in every way. So, fuck it if people think it’s slutty, I just don’t care.’
‘That started it. I started seeing this guy secretly, and he did everything he always wanted to do, and I encouraged him to. I wanted him to fuck me, to fuck my ass, and fill it with cum. I liked that he hired a hooker, and made me do dirty things to her. I loved every minute of it, of course. Being alone with another woman doesn’t do that much for me, but having a man arrange it, knowing he’ll stroke as he watches us, is what excites me. And I knew it would always be the same, that I would want older men, older white men. Seeing that hair, gray at the temples, makes me weak. The idea that we’ll go to this hotel, and there will be strange men there, men who want nothing but to control me, and make me do things, is crazy. I shouldn’t want that, but it’s more than just the sex. It’s this feeling of being safe, of feeling like I can let go completely, and live inside the moment. I feel more alive, more free, when I let go, and let them control me as they like.’
I glanced over at her as we pulled into the parking lot. She had a wild look in her eyes. As always, she looked adorable, her skin a deep, rich brown. A sly grin spreading slowly across her face. The sun dress she wore clung to her hips, and soon these men would all be looking at her, eager to see her naked. We got out of the car, and headed inside, nervous and excited.
